So I thought we were doing “good” as far as how and what we were communicating to Gianna. That was until she said, Mommy, you’re going to die and Daddy and I are going to be by ourselves. I can’t believe I just wrote that. But I was in even more disbelief when she said that. At NO POINT do I remember even us talking about death. The only thing that I can come up with is that she realizes the magnitude of how “sick” Mommy is and just tagged on the dreaded d-word. Ouch. That still stings. Then she went on to say… “when I disappear…” After I silently freaked out and shed some tears I sat her down (again) and explained to her that Mommy is getting special medicine to make her better but that I WILL be OK. Mommy isn’t going anywhere I said. Then I read her the book Paper Chains, which is about a family whose Mom is going through cancer. She really loves that book and it comes highly recommended as a must read for children who have a parent or grandparent going through treatment.
First thing on the agenda tomorrow after my lab work is to find out what resources Moffitt has for children/families undergoing treatment. I can only imagine how that little 4-year old is processing everything that is going on. Justin and I are doing everything we can to keep things normal for her, but as you can imagine-it is very difficult.